Don't Sweat the Small Stuff- and It's all Small Stuff
Chapter 1
What is one example of small stuff that you let get to you recently?
Small stuff that has been getting to me lately has been my sleep schedule. It has been really hard to wake up in the morning and to fall asleep. I do have insomnia and even with sleeping pills it will still sometimes take two or more hours to fall asleep, which is very frustrating. If I wake up too late with not enough time to prepare, or I wake up and feel terrible it affects my mood for the next few hours or even the entire day. Sleep had been a constant struggle, but with the new presence of school, it is hard to get on a regular schedule. This is something small that I shouldn’t let stop me, but it often does.
Small stuff that has been getting to me lately has been my sleep schedule. It has been really hard to wake up in the morning and to fall asleep. I do have insomnia and even with sleeping pills it will still sometimes take two or more hours to fall asleep, which is very frustrating. If I wake up too late with not enough time to prepare, or I wake up and feel terrible it affects my mood for the next few hours or even the entire day. Sleep had been a constant struggle, but with the new presence of school, it is hard to get on a regular schedule. This is something small that I shouldn’t let stop me, but it often does.
Chapter 2
How does your ego distract you?
My ego completely distracts me on a regular basis I will admit. I am very self centered in the way I am always thinking about how others perceive me or comparing my achievements to others. I find myself scared to make new choices and leaps of faith because of my ego and fear of failure and the possible negative consequences. It is something I struggle with on a daily basis and for the most part is a part of who I am, it encompasses a lot of me. My ego is something I struggle with and is something I need to work with. It will be a large obstacle to overcome and possibly a lifelong struggle.
My ego completely distracts me on a regular basis I will admit. I am very self centered in the way I am always thinking about how others perceive me or comparing my achievements to others. I find myself scared to make new choices and leaps of faith because of my ego and fear of failure and the possible negative consequences. It is something I struggle with on a daily basis and for the most part is a part of who I am, it encompasses a lot of me. My ego is something I struggle with and is something I need to work with. It will be a large obstacle to overcome and possibly a lifelong struggle.
Chapter 3
Analyze the quote "When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, and desires and concerns. It's thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and give back to others."
I take this advice to heart. I have realized through this study that I am always worrying and focusing on perfection and other's opinions of me. It makes daily life very difficult and makes me feel unfocused and unmotivated. When you focus on what you do have, and what you are thankful for, life becomes so much easier. You focus on the positives and what benefits your life versus what will only hurt you. This can also be applicable to today's society. We spend so much time with the internet and amongst ourselves worrying and judging about everything. Finding your inner peace should be a top priority for your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
I take this advice to heart. I have realized through this study that I am always worrying and focusing on perfection and other's opinions of me. It makes daily life very difficult and makes me feel unfocused and unmotivated. When you focus on what you do have, and what you are thankful for, life becomes so much easier. You focus on the positives and what benefits your life versus what will only hurt you. This can also be applicable to today's society. We spend so much time with the internet and amongst ourselves worrying and judging about everything. Finding your inner peace should be a top priority for your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
Chapter 4
Ch 4: Do you notice when your body and mind feel when your thinking is out of control?
I do usually notice when my thinking is out of control. Usually I will show physical signs such as leg shaking, wringing my hands, and massaging my shoulders. Those are signs of my anxiety physically. My mind usually feels worn down yet moving very fast. I feel frantic yet slow, as if I cannot keep up with my own thoughts. Other times it takes me a second to recognize it, because I am an overthinker in general. I force myself to take a step back and properly assess the situation and what I can do to solve the problem and calm down. I try to think of other things or do something else to distract me or calm myself.
I do usually notice when my thinking is out of control. Usually I will show physical signs such as leg shaking, wringing my hands, and massaging my shoulders. Those are signs of my anxiety physically. My mind usually feels worn down yet moving very fast. I feel frantic yet slow, as if I cannot keep up with my own thoughts. Other times it takes me a second to recognize it, because I am an overthinker in general. I force myself to take a step back and properly assess the situation and what I can do to solve the problem and calm down. I try to think of other things or do something else to distract me or calm myself.
Chapter 5
Ch 5: Can you recall a time when you made something big and dramatic when in reality it was small and not that big of a deal?
I definitely recall times when I made things such a big deal when they weren’t. This actually happens on a weekly or even daily basis. I overthink things and well as my own abilities, making me often blow things heavily out of proportions. I can think of an example of freshman year I was so stressed out about choosing a sport, particularly if I were to play one and if it should be softball or tennis. I felt so overwhelmed and felt like I needed to choose fast because I needed the credits. I ended choosing the right choice of tennis, and I am glad I did because of how relaxed and stress free it is. Something that regularly stresses me out is public speaking. I know everytime that it is not a big deal and will be fine, but every single time I work myself up to be super nervous. I know I have to do it and it will make me feel better to get it over with. It is something that I do need to work on.
I definitely recall times when I made things such a big deal when they weren’t. This actually happens on a weekly or even daily basis. I overthink things and well as my own abilities, making me often blow things heavily out of proportions. I can think of an example of freshman year I was so stressed out about choosing a sport, particularly if I were to play one and if it should be softball or tennis. I felt so overwhelmed and felt like I needed to choose fast because I needed the credits. I ended choosing the right choice of tennis, and I am glad I did because of how relaxed and stress free it is. Something that regularly stresses me out is public speaking. I know everytime that it is not a big deal and will be fine, but every single time I work myself up to be super nervous. I know I have to do it and it will make me feel better to get it over with. It is something that I do need to work on.
Chapter 6
Ch 6: what does your in basket look like? And will it be there tomorrow?
My basket definitely has a lot in it, this chapter was very relatable to me because I often feel like I need to finish the things in my basket right away, just for an endless cycle of replacing it and acting in a constant cycle of working really hard, relaxing for a second, then grinding it all out all over again. My basket has a lot of half full things I constantly feel I need to do, such as study, practice driving, organize my messes, and socialize. Although these are good goals, it can make me exhausted, and will always be there the next day. Recently I have done a good job of prioritizing things that are most important and upcoming, and spacing out my work. My basket also has full things with my accomplishments, like: me maintaining my grades, winning parts of homecoming, Core Camp, and branching out to new friends. These things will always stay with me, and I should prioritize my successes and what I have already accomplished as well as what still needs to be done.
My basket definitely has a lot in it, this chapter was very relatable to me because I often feel like I need to finish the things in my basket right away, just for an endless cycle of replacing it and acting in a constant cycle of working really hard, relaxing for a second, then grinding it all out all over again. My basket has a lot of half full things I constantly feel I need to do, such as study, practice driving, organize my messes, and socialize. Although these are good goals, it can make me exhausted, and will always be there the next day. Recently I have done a good job of prioritizing things that are most important and upcoming, and spacing out my work. My basket also has full things with my accomplishments, like: me maintaining my grades, winning parts of homecoming, Core Camp, and branching out to new friends. These things will always stay with me, and I should prioritize my successes and what I have already accomplished as well as what still needs to be done.
Chapter 7
Ch 7: Do you believe you are a strong listener or could use some work?
I believe I am a strong listener. It is something that I pride myself on, to be caring towards what others have to say. I know it makes conversations and cooperation so much easier. Although, from this particular chapter, it has caused me to rethink. I do interrupt sometimes, but for the most part I allow the other person to finish their part. It was never at all with ill intent, like the chapter pointed out. I reflected and realize I mostly do it to show I understand what the other person is getting at or what their overall point is. Sometimes, I do it to simply add a joke in or some comedy because that is part of who I am as a person. But as I evaluate, it is important for me to listen to a person all the way through, and their opinions. I will seem even more trustworthy and a better peer, listener, and friend. I can save the jokes for the non serious conversations and put other’s respect before myself.
I believe I am a strong listener. It is something that I pride myself on, to be caring towards what others have to say. I know it makes conversations and cooperation so much easier. Although, from this particular chapter, it has caused me to rethink. I do interrupt sometimes, but for the most part I allow the other person to finish their part. It was never at all with ill intent, like the chapter pointed out. I reflected and realize I mostly do it to show I understand what the other person is getting at or what their overall point is. Sometimes, I do it to simply add a joke in or some comedy because that is part of who I am as a person. But as I evaluate, it is important for me to listen to a person all the way through, and their opinions. I will seem even more trustworthy and a better peer, listener, and friend. I can save the jokes for the non serious conversations and put other’s respect before myself.
Chapter 8
Ch 8: Recall a time you have given, did you expect validation?
Recalling times before that I have given to others, I one hundred percent do expect some kind of small validation. I did not realize I actively sought this out before this chapter. I feel this has to do somewhat with my love language being words of gratitude/affirmations. I thrive when others verbally tell me I did a good job or appreciate me. Although I do appreciate this, I should not be giving just to ask to receive. I should not be expecting validation every time I do something, it should not be seen as an expectation. It takes away from the purpose and the feeling of giving back. I will still continue to appreciate when others give me words of affirmation, but I should not be focusing on the end results for compliments, rather, the deed itself.
Chapter 9
Ch 9: Have you ever experienced someone else ‘stomping’ on your story (glory)? How did it make you feel?
I have experienced someone else stomping on my glory. It usually just makes me surprised and taken aback. I know most of the time that people don’t necessarily mean to be rude and interrupt, so I usually let it go or try to bring back what I was originally talking about. But if it was something I was proud of or had been waiting to talk about it for a while, I usually just end up feeling hurt. Sometimes I can feel a pang in my heart or my stomach because I feel left out or even made fun of. Knowing my personal feelings of someone else taking my glory, I am more conscientious about speaking over others and allowing them to speak. It is always good to let everyone have their own moment and to feel included.
I have experienced someone else stomping on my glory. It usually just makes me surprised and taken aback. I know most of the time that people don’t necessarily mean to be rude and interrupt, so I usually let it go or try to bring back what I was originally talking about. But if it was something I was proud of or had been waiting to talk about it for a while, I usually just end up feeling hurt. Sometimes I can feel a pang in my heart or my stomach because I feel left out or even made fun of. Knowing my personal feelings of someone else taking my glory, I am more conscientious about speaking over others and allowing them to speak. It is always good to let everyone have their own moment and to feel included.
Chapter 10
Ch 10: What are some ways that you work to stay in the present moment?
Staying in the present moment and not worrying so much about my past mistakes or the fate of my future is something I personally struggle with. However, I do put initiative to stay in the moment. Whenever I hangout with people, I try to forget all my worries and stresses and just try my best to have fun and be happy. I like to take pictures and videos of good times so when I am negative and thinking of the past, I have something positive to look back on. I also can meditate and journal, to focus on me and my wellbeing. And also I can give myself pep talks to focus on the here and now and what is currently in front of me that I can be grateful for.
Staying in the present moment and not worrying so much about my past mistakes or the fate of my future is something I personally struggle with. However, I do put initiative to stay in the moment. Whenever I hangout with people, I try to forget all my worries and stresses and just try my best to have fun and be happy. I like to take pictures and videos of good times so when I am negative and thinking of the past, I have something positive to look back on. I also can meditate and journal, to focus on me and my wellbeing. And also I can give myself pep talks to focus on the here and now and what is currently in front of me that I can be grateful for.
Chapter 11
Ch 11: Think of a time when you were frustrated, now look at it as a moment of being taught… What did you learn?
A time I was frustrated was when there was a group project and my classmates were not putting in the effort or the same amount of time as I had been putting in. It made me stressed and worried about the outcome of the assignment. In trying to look at this situation with a new perspective, I can realize that other people may have a lot on their mind. They could have been having a terrible week, like failing tests or being super stressed out about something entirely different I couldn’t even begin to relate to. I can recall so many instances where I had been dealing with other factors and no one had known or even thought to ask about me, and have gotten a completely wrong perspective. It is good to remember there are people besides yourself that have their own life and problems, and sometimes this could impact you personally. It is always great to take new perspectives and strive to understand others around you.
A time I was frustrated was when there was a group project and my classmates were not putting in the effort or the same amount of time as I had been putting in. It made me stressed and worried about the outcome of the assignment. In trying to look at this situation with a new perspective, I can realize that other people may have a lot on their mind. They could have been having a terrible week, like failing tests or being super stressed out about something entirely different I couldn’t even begin to relate to. I can recall so many instances where I had been dealing with other factors and no one had known or even thought to ask about me, and have gotten a completely wrong perspective. It is good to remember there are people besides yourself that have their own life and problems, and sometimes this could impact you personally. It is always great to take new perspectives and strive to understand others around you.
Chapter 12
Ch 12 Challenge: The next time you are in a discussion/argument, let the other person be right and notice the initial feeling that transpires.
I was talking with my mom about how messy my room was, and how I always have disorganized work spaces with school and leave stuff out. I argue with her every time that it is because there is a lot on my mind, and I am often overloaded and stressed. This time with the guidance of the chapter, I conceded that my room is always messy and I would clean it up. Initially I felt the feeling of indignation and frustration of conceding, as I often like to spark arguments and discussion as I feel I can get away with it and I have a good point (and am right). But I realized that she is right, I just hate admitting it and want to justify my behavior. This time it served me right because I got more stuff done by conceding, although I don't like admitting it.
I was talking with my mom about how messy my room was, and how I always have disorganized work spaces with school and leave stuff out. I argue with her every time that it is because there is a lot on my mind, and I am often overloaded and stressed. This time with the guidance of the chapter, I conceded that my room is always messy and I would clean it up. Initially I felt the feeling of indignation and frustration of conceding, as I often like to spark arguments and discussion as I feel I can get away with it and I have a good point (and am right). But I realized that she is right, I just hate admitting it and want to justify my behavior. This time it served me right because I got more stuff done by conceding, although I don't like admitting it.
Chapter 13
Ch 13: Do you ever have a reflective moment when you realize that you are so very small in this vast world and really your drama isn’t that big a deal?
Yes I do have this feeling and reflective moment that everything is so insignificant. That I am on a small rock floating in space, in a vast and maybe infinite universe. There are so many things bigger than our Earth and far away, where there could be other life forms, other universes, or even dimensions. It makes me realize I am but an atom in the universe, and my problems seem so petty. It incites me to want to care less about what others think and judgement, as there is no worldly significance. But it also makes me want to throw everything away as it doesn’t matter, and only live for fun and reckless moments. There has to be a balance, but again, does anything matter at all? Will I be reborn and live again, to live out new experiences and mistakes? Or will my life story and what I did truly matter for the after life? So many questions that make me ponder that I will never know the answer to.
Yes I do have this feeling and reflective moment that everything is so insignificant. That I am on a small rock floating in space, in a vast and maybe infinite universe. There are so many things bigger than our Earth and far away, where there could be other life forms, other universes, or even dimensions. It makes me realize I am but an atom in the universe, and my problems seem so petty. It incites me to want to care less about what others think and judgement, as there is no worldly significance. But it also makes me want to throw everything away as it doesn’t matter, and only live for fun and reckless moments. There has to be a balance, but again, does anything matter at all? Will I be reborn and live again, to live out new experiences and mistakes? Or will my life story and what I did truly matter for the after life? So many questions that make me ponder that I will never know the answer to.
Chapter 14
Ch 14: Do you have a ‘mantra’, a statement, that you make to yourself daily or weekly?
I never really thought about this, I don’t have a set mantra that I always say. Although thinking deeper into this, there are probably things I repeat to myself that aren’t conscious decisions. The only one I can think of is telling myself to make it until Friday. That I will bear with it and get through the week, so I can truly celebrate and relax on Friday night and the weekend. Thinking of rewards that I will receive makes the hardships and stress bearable, though I understand that this is probably not a substantive or positive mantra that I should be using in my life, this is something that I need to work on.
I never really thought about this, I don’t have a set mantra that I always say. Although thinking deeper into this, there are probably things I repeat to myself that aren’t conscious decisions. The only one I can think of is telling myself to make it until Friday. That I will bear with it and get through the week, so I can truly celebrate and relax on Friday night and the weekend. Thinking of rewards that I will receive makes the hardships and stress bearable, though I understand that this is probably not a substantive or positive mantra that I should be using in my life, this is something that I need to work on.
Chapter 15
Ch 15: Have you lost a relationship because something “small” created a “big” divide?
I have lost relationships this way before. Mostly it was the culmination of small things that turned into a large problem when confronted. For example this one friend I had freshman year would say bad stuff about me to my face as some form of joke, that over time really came to hurt my feelings, but because he felt it was his personality it was justified. When I confronted him simply asking him to not do that to me he exploded and would not talk about me, and whisper bad about me and laugh about me with other people. It made me feel horrible, and could have been avoided if he was mature enough to acknowledge my point of view. Getting over issues and addressing them is part of every relationship, and it takes humility, strength, and maturity to effectively handle it.
I have lost relationships this way before. Mostly it was the culmination of small things that turned into a large problem when confronted. For example this one friend I had freshman year would say bad stuff about me to my face as some form of joke, that over time really came to hurt my feelings, but because he felt it was his personality it was justified. When I confronted him simply asking him to not do that to me he exploded and would not talk about me, and whisper bad about me and laugh about me with other people. It made me feel horrible, and could have been avoided if he was mature enough to acknowledge my point of view. Getting over issues and addressing them is part of every relationship, and it takes humility, strength, and maturity to effectively handle it.
Chapter 16
Ch 16: What do you hope to do a year from now?
A year from now I hope I can get my act together and try to figure out my self and my identity, as well as what I'm passionate for. Next year I will be a senior applying to colleges, and I hope I can figure myself out and what I want to do with the rest of my life, as it is weighing heavily on my mind. I also hope a year from now Corona is over, and I can live my last year of high school as intended and have fun. I want to make the most out of my remaining time and just do what I want with it.
A year from now I hope I can get my act together and try to figure out my self and my identity, as well as what I'm passionate for. Next year I will be a senior applying to colleges, and I hope I can figure myself out and what I want to do with the rest of my life, as it is weighing heavily on my mind. I also hope a year from now Corona is over, and I can live my last year of high school as intended and have fun. I want to make the most out of my remaining time and just do what I want with it.
Chapter 17
Ch 17: Is life meant to be fair? What does that even mean?
I do not think life can be given the label of fair or unfair. Every person has their own life and circumstances, from different childhoods, to racial backgrounds, to financial status, to thought processes and education. There can be no definition of fair because of how vastly unique and different each and every one of our lives are. Fair could mean entitled to happiness or a “good life” which is not able to be measured and up to interpretation for each person. Every person makes decisions every day that impact their lives and their happiness. Life is as “fair” as you make it, and people should not spend time worrying about the situations of others, as it does not in any way apply or affect them.
I do not think life can be given the label of fair or unfair. Every person has their own life and circumstances, from different childhoods, to racial backgrounds, to financial status, to thought processes and education. There can be no definition of fair because of how vastly unique and different each and every one of our lives are. Fair could mean entitled to happiness or a “good life” which is not able to be measured and up to interpretation for each person. Every person makes decisions every day that impact their lives and their happiness. Life is as “fair” as you make it, and people should not spend time worrying about the situations of others, as it does not in any way apply or affect them.
Chapter 18
Ch 18: Do you take the time to be bored?
I do not take time to be bored. I feel as growing up with my parents and the school system I have been conditioned to always be going and doing something. Even on weekends, I feel so guilty and anxious if I don’t deal with things that need to be done right away. After so much hard work during the week, I feel guilty when I don't study or work on something, even if it does not need to be done right away. I have been told I am a slacker or lazy when my parents don’t understand my work ethic and systems, and it does effect and eat at me, and that translates how I act. However, I have conditioned myself without thinking about it to take Fridays off, not doing any homework after school. I am usually bored, and reflecting off of it I am usually bored, which is a good thing in retrospect. I definitely need more moments for myself to be in the present moment and to be happy.
I do not take time to be bored. I feel as growing up with my parents and the school system I have been conditioned to always be going and doing something. Even on weekends, I feel so guilty and anxious if I don’t deal with things that need to be done right away. After so much hard work during the week, I feel guilty when I don't study or work on something, even if it does not need to be done right away. I have been told I am a slacker or lazy when my parents don’t understand my work ethic and systems, and it does effect and eat at me, and that translates how I act. However, I have conditioned myself without thinking about it to take Fridays off, not doing any homework after school. I am usually bored, and reflecting off of it I am usually bored, which is a good thing in retrospect. I definitely need more moments for myself to be in the present moment and to be happy.
Chapter 19
Ch 19: Have you been taught to believe that high stress is a positive thing?
I have been taught to believe that high stress is positive. I physically feel that I am not doing enough if I don’t have a lot on my plate. It can rip me apart and cause mental pain and even physical struggle, but I have always acquitted myself to how it needs to be, how someone who has such aspirations and goals in life needs to feel and be like this. I am always going and going, and the stress takes a heavy toll on me and my body. I need to change this desperately, as it is so effective on my and my character. It would change my life so much for the better if I fixed it.
I have been taught to believe that high stress is positive. I physically feel that I am not doing enough if I don’t have a lot on my plate. It can rip me apart and cause mental pain and even physical struggle, but I have always acquitted myself to how it needs to be, how someone who has such aspirations and goals in life needs to feel and be like this. I am always going and going, and the stress takes a heavy toll on me and my body. I need to change this desperately, as it is so effective on my and my character. It would change my life so much for the better if I fixed it.
Chapter 20
Ch 20: When was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude?
The last time I wrote a letter of gratitude was this November for the Dude Be Nice activity we do every year. I wrote to my best friend Zoe, thanking her for her friendship and the new strengthened connection we formed over this summer. I enjoyed writing it, as it made me reflect on why I have her in my life and what she has done for me. I love activities like this because something so simple can totally change someone’s mood and day. I know this all too well, with my love language being words of affirmation, it can confirm feelings and gratitude from those who don't normally express these depths of emotions to me.
The last time I wrote a letter of gratitude was this November for the Dude Be Nice activity we do every year. I wrote to my best friend Zoe, thanking her for her friendship and the new strengthened connection we formed over this summer. I enjoyed writing it, as it made me reflect on why I have her in my life and what she has done for me. I love activities like this because something so simple can totally change someone’s mood and day. I know this all too well, with my love language being words of affirmation, it can confirm feelings and gratitude from those who don't normally express these depths of emotions to me.
Chapter 21
Ch 21: If you could change anything right now about your life, what would it be?
If I could change anything about my life, I would change my inner sense of self worth. Over many years of conditioning by myself and my society, the only worth I hold in myself is my academic merit and what I look like that day. Although this could be said about anyone, it is a problem I struggle with everyday. I feel that without me being intelligent and not getting good grades that I would amount to nothing. I have had several deep reflections on myself, and feel that if I took away school and grades I would be a shell of a person and I would be invalid. The same goes for beauty, I wear makeup and present myself nice everyday. I do not know if it is for the hope of the male gaze or trying to prove something to myself. It is very scary and real to me.
If I could change anything about my life, I would change my inner sense of self worth. Over many years of conditioning by myself and my society, the only worth I hold in myself is my academic merit and what I look like that day. Although this could be said about anyone, it is a problem I struggle with everyday. I feel that without me being intelligent and not getting good grades that I would amount to nothing. I have had several deep reflections on myself, and feel that if I took away school and grades I would be a shell of a person and I would be invalid. The same goes for beauty, I wear makeup and present myself nice everyday. I do not know if it is for the hope of the male gaze or trying to prove something to myself. It is very scary and real to me.
Chapter 22
Ch 22: Describe a time or moment in your life when you turned something into an emergency?
To be honest I turn everything in my life into an emergency. I am constantly anxious and on edge of everything I do in my life. Even with this assignment, I turned into an emergency. I am always getting ahead and am in a constant state of doing future work to where I am never ever getting ahead. I never get a break from the pressures I put on myself. And when I do, I immediately feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. This ties to the last question to where my self worth is tied to academic validation, so I am in a constant state of emergency in order to aid that fantasy of work. Other emergencies I make revolve around work and college, and I put my physical and emotional health on a back burner. It is a vicious and ugly cycle that I have been in my entire life.
To be honest I turn everything in my life into an emergency. I am constantly anxious and on edge of everything I do in my life. Even with this assignment, I turned into an emergency. I am always getting ahead and am in a constant state of doing future work to where I am never ever getting ahead. I never get a break from the pressures I put on myself. And when I do, I immediately feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. This ties to the last question to where my self worth is tied to academic validation, so I am in a constant state of emergency in order to aid that fantasy of work. Other emergencies I make revolve around work and college, and I put my physical and emotional health on a back burner. It is a vicious and ugly cycle that I have been in my entire life.
Chapter 23
Ch 23: Analyze this quote:
"It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that we have no immediate answer for."
I do not agree with this quote, as it does not apply to me. I have no back burners, unless you count the nagging, anxiety filled voice in the back of my head that makes me nervous every day. Everything is on the front of my mind always. I can not procrastinate at all due to that voice. I simply lack motivation, but have the drive to see it through. So it takes me five hours to complete my homework that normally would take an hour max. It is something that is very frustrating for me, and it has come from being burnt out since sophomore year with school. My mind is always on edge and anxious, nitpicking the little mistakes I do every day, and regretting my past actions or things I did not do. The only thing this back burner can apply to is how I plan my day every day. But it is the anxious voice who goes over every small detail of my day and what needs to be done, over and over again. It brings me temporary relief in having a plan, however it causes me to be even more stressed when I have a lot to do, or frustrated because I know it will take all day due to my lack of motivation. Like Inside Out I am ruled by fear every day, and it has caused immense mental toll.
"It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that we have no immediate answer for."
I do not agree with this quote, as it does not apply to me. I have no back burners, unless you count the nagging, anxiety filled voice in the back of my head that makes me nervous every day. Everything is on the front of my mind always. I can not procrastinate at all due to that voice. I simply lack motivation, but have the drive to see it through. So it takes me five hours to complete my homework that normally would take an hour max. It is something that is very frustrating for me, and it has come from being burnt out since sophomore year with school. My mind is always on edge and anxious, nitpicking the little mistakes I do every day, and regretting my past actions or things I did not do. The only thing this back burner can apply to is how I plan my day every day. But it is the anxious voice who goes over every small detail of my day and what needs to be done, over and over again. It brings me temporary relief in having a plan, however it causes me to be even more stressed when I have a lot to do, or frustrated because I know it will take all day due to my lack of motivation. Like Inside Out I am ruled by fear every day, and it has caused immense mental toll.
Chapter 24
Chapter 24: Who is one person you would thank in this moment and why?
One person I would like to thank is my friend Ana. She is someone I always look forward to hanging out with and love just being near her. Ana’s personality is infectious and I love how funny she is. My life is often boring, and having her as a friend finally made life exciting and full of much more than just school and college apps. She is so caring and takes the time to truly think about how things affect me and the people around her. I love going on car rides, random road trips, and eating out with Ana. She is one of the truest friends I have ever known, and she makes every school day a little bit more bearable. I am so thankful to have gotten closer with her, and have had her to lean on throughout high school.
One person I would like to thank is my friend Ana. She is someone I always look forward to hanging out with and love just being near her. Ana’s personality is infectious and I love how funny she is. My life is often boring, and having her as a friend finally made life exciting and full of much more than just school and college apps. She is so caring and takes the time to truly think about how things affect me and the people around her. I love going on car rides, random road trips, and eating out with Ana. She is one of the truest friends I have ever known, and she makes every school day a little bit more bearable. I am so thankful to have gotten closer with her, and have had her to lean on throughout high school.
Chapter 25
Chapter 25: When you read this chapter, regarding eye contact & connect what are your initial thoughts?
I do believe that not smiling at strangers and being nice to others is a sign things in your life are wrong, but I do not believe that smiling IS an indicator of someone’s happiness. As an example I smile and say hello to people every time I go for a walk with my dog. I also make a point to be cheerful and nice at my work. This does not convey what is happening in my life at all, it is just how I chose to present myself to the outside world. I agree with the rest of this chapter. Evaluating and realizing that everyone else has their own lives, experiences, and obstacles causes reflection on how we treat others. I often take a step back and get weirded out at how everyone else is living a full life and going through the motions in the same way I am. But this helps me realize that there are things that others do that are outside of my control, and helps me empathize with others.
I do believe that not smiling at strangers and being nice to others is a sign things in your life are wrong, but I do not believe that smiling IS an indicator of someone’s happiness. As an example I smile and say hello to people every time I go for a walk with my dog. I also make a point to be cheerful and nice at my work. This does not convey what is happening in my life at all, it is just how I chose to present myself to the outside world. I agree with the rest of this chapter. Evaluating and realizing that everyone else has their own lives, experiences, and obstacles causes reflection on how we treat others. I often take a step back and get weirded out at how everyone else is living a full life and going through the motions in the same way I am. But this helps me realize that there are things that others do that are outside of my control, and helps me empathize with others.
Chapter 26
Chapter 26: When do you find a quiet moment in your day, every day, just to be present and quiet? Do you? Or perhaps you don't
. . . explain.
Instead of a designated quiet time I use my overstimulated and anxious brain to my advantage. I have a designated loud time. This means being surrounded by a ton of people, going out and having fun. Or this means jamming out and singing music with the volume blasted. Or dancing by myself and having fun. I also enjoy stimulating myself with a ton of things at once. Such as watching TV, talking with my family, playing a video game on my phone, and playing with my dog all at once. Though there are often complaints of my generation being so overstimulated, I acknowledge that I am and turn it into an advantage. However, I also have a designated quiet time. I like to take a melatonin and use the time between it kicking in and falling asleep every night to just be alone with my thoughts. Sometimes I meditate, sometimes I journal, and other times I just lay in bed and let my thoughts do as they wish.
. . . explain.
Instead of a designated quiet time I use my overstimulated and anxious brain to my advantage. I have a designated loud time. This means being surrounded by a ton of people, going out and having fun. Or this means jamming out and singing music with the volume blasted. Or dancing by myself and having fun. I also enjoy stimulating myself with a ton of things at once. Such as watching TV, talking with my family, playing a video game on my phone, and playing with my dog all at once. Though there are often complaints of my generation being so overstimulated, I acknowledge that I am and turn it into an advantage. However, I also have a designated quiet time. I like to take a melatonin and use the time between it kicking in and falling asleep every night to just be alone with my thoughts. Sometimes I meditate, sometimes I journal, and other times I just lay in bed and let my thoughts do as they wish.
Chapter 27
Chapter 27: Describe a time when you have been frustrated with someone, but you "let go" of the situation and moved forward with your life. How did that make you feel?
A time I was frustrated with someone was during every homecoming ever. Tensions run high due to the stakes of the competition, lack of sleep, and laborious amounts of homework. It doesn’t help that we are all hormonal and easily emotional people. I am quick to anger when I am at my wits end, as anyone would expect. And some people get me so frustratingly enraged. However, when things start to calm down and I have more time for self care and relaxation, I always reconcile with the person and move forward in my life. This makes me feel at ease, as the people I fight with are often people I still want to have in my life. So moving on past our differences reinstalls the friendships we had before the high tensions, and makes for happy and often stronger relationships. I am confident that these tensions were for the better, as I often get to see different sides of people and how they react to conflict and negativity.
A time I was frustrated with someone was during every homecoming ever. Tensions run high due to the stakes of the competition, lack of sleep, and laborious amounts of homework. It doesn’t help that we are all hormonal and easily emotional people. I am quick to anger when I am at my wits end, as anyone would expect. And some people get me so frustratingly enraged. However, when things start to calm down and I have more time for self care and relaxation, I always reconcile with the person and move forward in my life. This makes me feel at ease, as the people I fight with are often people I still want to have in my life. So moving on past our differences reinstalls the friendships we had before the high tensions, and makes for happy and often stronger relationships. I am confident that these tensions were for the better, as I often get to see different sides of people and how they react to conflict and negativity.
Chapter 28
Chapter 28: Describe a situation where you didn’t seek to understand first. Was there resolution with this conflict?
A time where I did not seek to understand first was when I was an underclassmen. Any time there was a political argument where someone was a Republican I automatically zoned out and refused to listen to them. Granted, back then political beliefs were formed only on the foundation of parent or social media influence, but I did not want to hear any other perspective unless it was one I liked. Now I like to consider alternate points of view, and where people are coming from when they think of very current issues such as guns, immigration, the economy, and abortions. Though sometimes I vehemently disagree, I like to think of why they think this way. This could be of their own morals, religious influence, or even their own mindset of their daily life. I might not agree with them, but I can learn more of their perspective or even find values I share with them.
A time where I did not seek to understand first was when I was an underclassmen. Any time there was a political argument where someone was a Republican I automatically zoned out and refused to listen to them. Granted, back then political beliefs were formed only on the foundation of parent or social media influence, but I did not want to hear any other perspective unless it was one I liked. Now I like to consider alternate points of view, and where people are coming from when they think of very current issues such as guns, immigration, the economy, and abortions. Though sometimes I vehemently disagree, I like to think of why they think this way. This could be of their own morals, religious influence, or even their own mindset of their daily life. I might not agree with them, but I can learn more of their perspective or even find values I share with them.
Chapter 29
Chapter 29: Who is someone that you can genuinely talk to, that you know will listen to you. Describe this relationship.
A person I know I can always genuinely count on to take my perspective and feelings into account is Naomi. I always appreciate our conversations, whether it be funny and light hearted or more deep, talking of our futures and fears. I know that she will always hear me out and give me great advice when I need it. Also we are so similar, and it feels like I am talking to myself sometimes. She is very encouraging to me and I know I can come to her with anything, whether it be embarrassing or just talking about my day. I am glad to have such supportive friends like Naomi that help me through tough times.
A person I know I can always genuinely count on to take my perspective and feelings into account is Naomi. I always appreciate our conversations, whether it be funny and light hearted or more deep, talking of our futures and fears. I know that she will always hear me out and give me great advice when I need it. Also we are so similar, and it feels like I am talking to myself sometimes. She is very encouraging to me and I know I can come to her with anything, whether it be embarrassing or just talking about my day. I am glad to have such supportive friends like Naomi that help me through tough times.
Chapter 30
Chapter 30: Describe a time when you “lost your shhhh” and in reality it wasn’t worth the energy. How did you feel after the confrontation? Could it have gone differently if you didn’t sweat the small stuff?
I think I slowly lose my shit every single day. I am such a highly emotional person that I allow any small, insignificant convenience to affect my mood, mindset, and everyday life. But a specific moment would be during the holiday door decorating. I had been studying for hours the weeks before, and had not been able to sleep for more than four hours that whole month. Formal was the night before, and I was right back at school. Finals were the next week, I had to work for five hours after being at the school for four hours, and college applications made me literally insane. I felt horrible that entire day, and broke down in tears with various other class members who were also losing it. After the whole confrontation I just felt numb. I wasn’t justified in lashing out on other people, but it was hard to find a reason why I would not be losing it with how much had been thrown on me and what was on my plate. I find it hard to believe that not sweating the small stuff would have made the situation differently, as there was so much. Though maybe realizing I could accomplish it all through some tears and grit would allow some stress off of my shoulders.
I think I slowly lose my shit every single day. I am such a highly emotional person that I allow any small, insignificant convenience to affect my mood, mindset, and everyday life. But a specific moment would be during the holiday door decorating. I had been studying for hours the weeks before, and had not been able to sleep for more than four hours that whole month. Formal was the night before, and I was right back at school. Finals were the next week, I had to work for five hours after being at the school for four hours, and college applications made me literally insane. I felt horrible that entire day, and broke down in tears with various other class members who were also losing it. After the whole confrontation I just felt numb. I wasn’t justified in lashing out on other people, but it was hard to find a reason why I would not be losing it with how much had been thrown on me and what was on my plate. I find it hard to believe that not sweating the small stuff would have made the situation differently, as there was so much. Though maybe realizing I could accomplish it all through some tears and grit would allow some stress off of my shoulders.
Chapter 31
Chapter 31: Explain a time when you were in a bad mood and how it shaped your day. Vise versa, explain a time when you were in a great mood and discuss the day you had.
I think this Senior year with my mental health unraveling I have been in a bad mood the majority of the year, and always let it ruin my day. I get three hours of sleep, have a headache, and don’t have the mental capacity to deal with annoying peers. I let it ruin my day, and this happens about three days a week. Having to keep up such a tough workload and tightly packed schedule creates these bad moods, as I seem to repeat the same day over and over again. However, when I am in a good mood I feel unstoppable. Like when I realized that all my hard work finally paid off and I would be the Salutatorian after so much sacrifice and grit. I felt so happy that my whole day was fun. I saw the positive in everything and life actually seemed enjoyable.
I think this Senior year with my mental health unraveling I have been in a bad mood the majority of the year, and always let it ruin my day. I get three hours of sleep, have a headache, and don’t have the mental capacity to deal with annoying peers. I let it ruin my day, and this happens about three days a week. Having to keep up such a tough workload and tightly packed schedule creates these bad moods, as I seem to repeat the same day over and over again. However, when I am in a good mood I feel unstoppable. Like when I realized that all my hard work finally paid off and I would be the Salutatorian after so much sacrifice and grit. I felt so happy that my whole day was fun. I saw the positive in everything and life actually seemed enjoyable.
Chapter 32
Chapter 32: “As an experiment, see if you can apply this idea to something you are forced to deal with” right now. Explain your emotions and logic behind this situation. Can you rise above it?
I think this book is amazing, really. In theory. I think what this book lacks is ways to validly implement the great advice it gives. Such as with this chapter. I understand that life should not be taken so seriously all the time and that things will not always go as planned. But do you think I plan to be, or willingly, act this way? That I chose willingly to be sad or angry all the time? That I can so easily just feel so much better because “life is only a test”? If life is a test then I have been doing the absolute most. The point of a test is to show your merit and hard work. You study for it, you review, and you put effort in it in order to receive a good grade. I feel like, metaphorically, I have been studying my entire life to score well on this test of life. And I just received back “my test”. And I failed, despite so much conviction and effort. So if life is a test, I am trying so hard to rise to this “challenge”. So, forgive me for acting upset about something I have worked so hard for not come true. I can not “simply rise above” getting my dreams crushed that I have been pursuing my whole life. Maybe this is a flawed perspective, but I do not have the years of experience or the events in my life that would lead to me easily adopting the words of advice. I am allowed to be upset, and I take life seriously so that I can ensure my future happiness. I would rather not slack off now because “we are living on a floating rock” or some other bs people use to excuse their poor grades and behavior. If I did not take life seriously I would probably be partying and in a ditch somewhere. I am ensuring my future happiness, not the unimportant now. I don’t want to be 30 and regret wasting my time in my youth with an unstable job and life. I want to be financially secure and passionate about the career I worked so hard for. So yes, I can “attempt” to get over this, but it has been my nature since I was young to act this way and hold these goals, so unfortunately chapter 32 of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff will not change my outlook on life or my actions.
I think this book is amazing, really. In theory. I think what this book lacks is ways to validly implement the great advice it gives. Such as with this chapter. I understand that life should not be taken so seriously all the time and that things will not always go as planned. But do you think I plan to be, or willingly, act this way? That I chose willingly to be sad or angry all the time? That I can so easily just feel so much better because “life is only a test”? If life is a test then I have been doing the absolute most. The point of a test is to show your merit and hard work. You study for it, you review, and you put effort in it in order to receive a good grade. I feel like, metaphorically, I have been studying my entire life to score well on this test of life. And I just received back “my test”. And I failed, despite so much conviction and effort. So if life is a test, I am trying so hard to rise to this “challenge”. So, forgive me for acting upset about something I have worked so hard for not come true. I can not “simply rise above” getting my dreams crushed that I have been pursuing my whole life. Maybe this is a flawed perspective, but I do not have the years of experience or the events in my life that would lead to me easily adopting the words of advice. I am allowed to be upset, and I take life seriously so that I can ensure my future happiness. I would rather not slack off now because “we are living on a floating rock” or some other bs people use to excuse their poor grades and behavior. If I did not take life seriously I would probably be partying and in a ditch somewhere. I am ensuring my future happiness, not the unimportant now. I don’t want to be 30 and regret wasting my time in my youth with an unstable job and life. I want to be financially secure and passionate about the career I worked so hard for. So yes, I can “attempt” to get over this, but it has been my nature since I was young to act this way and hold these goals, so unfortunately chapter 32 of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff will not change my outlook on life or my actions.
Chapter 33
Chapter 33: You will not please everyone. . . how does this statement sit with you and why do we tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive.
I believe in this statement. Though I could try to deny it, I care about others' opinions about me a lot. But this is because I am an attention seeking, insecure teenage girl who does not know who she is besides the opinions of others. No matter what I do, someone will find an issue with me. That bothers me, but I do not think people deserve to have these bad opinions on me when they are bad people themselves. I work on pleasing the people whose opinions I do care about, though recently I have not been doing this. I am already having a very difficult time pleasing myself, so the opinions of others who I am not close to don’t hurt nearly as much as my own opinion of myself. We tend to focus on the negative because we all inherently seek out to see the negative when things are going too good. I do that at least. Humans like to look for drama and naturally seek the approval of others.
I believe in this statement. Though I could try to deny it, I care about others' opinions about me a lot. But this is because I am an attention seeking, insecure teenage girl who does not know who she is besides the opinions of others. No matter what I do, someone will find an issue with me. That bothers me, but I do not think people deserve to have these bad opinions on me when they are bad people themselves. I work on pleasing the people whose opinions I do care about, though recently I have not been doing this. I am already having a very difficult time pleasing myself, so the opinions of others who I am not close to don’t hurt nearly as much as my own opinion of myself. We tend to focus on the negative because we all inherently seek out to see the negative when things are going too good. I do that at least. Humans like to look for drama and naturally seek the approval of others.
Chapter 34
Chapter 34: Describe a time when you completed a RAK and how did it make you feel?
A random act of kindness I personally love doing is complimenting a person or their outfit. I do this a lot at school and in my work. Whenever I see a cute piece of clothing or someone has a nice smile I like to let them know. This makes them feel good inside, and personally it is nice to have that effect on someone else. You have no idea what other people go through, and doing something as simple as complimenting their clothes could go a long way. Random acts of kindness should be more common in our society. It truly benefits every person it involves.
A random act of kindness I personally love doing is complimenting a person or their outfit. I do this a lot at school and in my work. Whenever I see a cute piece of clothing or someone has a nice smile I like to let them know. This makes them feel good inside, and personally it is nice to have that effect on someone else. You have no idea what other people go through, and doing something as simple as complimenting their clothes could go a long way. Random acts of kindness should be more common in our society. It truly benefits every person it involves.